Everyone needs a mentor, right? How can you expect to be successful without a mentor? You need that person who will tell you how they figured it all out, what the answers are, how to avoid making the stupid mistakes they did, provide often unsolicited feedback, and generally be there to help nurture your natural abilities into greatness!
It was 1996 and I didn’t even know what a mentor was. I was a Human Resource Specialist, which meant I did an assortment of things that were related to helping people. Training, facilitating, listening, guiding, cleaning up after mistakes … you get the picture. While my job was not particularly challenging, my timing was great. For the first time in 100 years (tongue in cheek) the organization was going to make a planned change. They made the decision to go paperless. Yes, this was 24 years ago, and it was a huge deal to think about scanning documents instead of printing them.
To provide you with some context about the organization’s appetite for change, let me tell you about the Sales Training meeting. It had met monthly on the 3rd Tuesday at 2:00 for several years. When I suggested that we look at changing the time because I noticed that many of the attendees traveled on Tuesdays and were unable to attend, you would have thought I had suggested anarchy. It took 3 months to make a decision. We had a meeting to determine who should be on the committee to interview attendees about their thoughts on changing the meeting time. I am not kidding – it was a huge deal, and after 90 days, the resulting change was to start the meeting one hour earlier.
Our organization was the kind of place you wanted to work if you liked getting recruited out of college and staying there until you retired or died – whichever came first. Even if you were a non-performer, you were safe – you just got moved to another department! Change was a dirty word - maybe not dirty, but certainly a foreign word that was not used much. Had my mentor not come into my life, I might still be working there!
Not only had our organization not had much experience with change, but also, we were lacking in project management skills. Leadership recognized the gap in skill sets and hired two external consulting firms to help us with change management and project management. This is where my mentor experience really begins …
I was in my 1st year of grad school – a Master’s in Human Resource Development, with an emphasis in Org Development and Change. At this point in my life I had tried teaching piano, teaching music education, health education, 3rd grade, community nutrition classes, fitness classes, athletic training, office management, radio sales and on-air, retail, customer service management and training … and none of them filled my bucket, except teaching fitness classes and that was not going to pay the rent.
Call it synchronicity – fate – or when the student is ready, the teacher shows up! I was asked by my manager to join her for an event where our new change consultant was going to speak to a group of leaders about organization change and how his methodology would help us. That event literally changed my career path!!
How?
Immediately after the session, my manager said “I want you to meet Don” and off we went. I was mesmerized! He was smart, articulate, funny, bold, experienced – he knew his stuff and everyone in that audience knew that he knew what he was talking about. After being introduced, these words came spilling out of my mouth …
“Oh my gosh, when I grow up, I want to be just like you – only I want to stay a girl!”
He laughed – I didn’t. Seriously, I had just witnessed exactly what I wanted to be doing and how I wanted to be doing it. I knew there was no way that would happen, but at least I had a glimpse of what it was like to feel excited about work!
If you know me, you are not surprised by my exuberant blathering because you know that I have limited filters between my brain and my mouth. If I am feeling any emotion at all – you know it. I don’t remember anything Don said to me, but I do remember what my manager said as we walked away. She scolded me! Just like I was a small child that had done something bad.
“Well, you certainly made a fool of yourself there. You embarrassed yourself, me, and the organization. I take the time to introduce you to someone who you can learn from and you say something stupid. I hope he forgets that as he begins to work with you.”
OUCH! I didn’t understand what she was talking about because if someone told me that they wanted to be like me when they grew up, I would take it as a huge compliment. I didn’t really care because I was just being honest, so I went on with my life.
The very next week, I found myself enrolled in a class with 20 other people who were all going to learn how to be ‘change agents’ from Don. It was a 4-day class and I was excited to learn more about this new topic that was fascinating to me. It wasn’t like any other class I had taken before. He pushed us hard! He challenged our thinking and put us in situations where we had to work through complicated situations and apply our learning. My brain was exhausted every night, but I was loving it. I was there doing what I do best – learning!
At the end of Day 3, Don asked if I could stay for a few minutes. That was when the magic happened. Without any warm-up or setting context, he simply said “How would you like a mentor? You really get this stuff, and I want you to work for me someday.”
Remember that I had never really thought about mentors, and certainly hadn’t considered having one in my life. At that moment, all I could think was that the guy I wanted to grow up and be like was telling me I was kind of a rock star and he wanted me to work for him some day. Of course, my complete lack of filters let this come out, “You mean the fact that I said I want to be you when I grew up didn’t make you think I’m a loser? My boss said I blew my credibility that day.” He just smiled and with that a 24-year mentor/ mentee relationship began.
Over the next 8 years, he guided my career, which culminated in me starting my own business in 2004. To this day, he refuses to take any credit for where my career has gone, or for the professional I have grown into. I guess that is part of being a great mentor – giving all the credit to the mentee. I just know that if it weren’t for his comment that day, I might still be wandering from job to job looking for something that I was passionate about. Not a day goes by that I don’t say or do something in my work that is a direct result of what he taught me. Most importantly, he taught me that I could be someone and do something that I couldn’t see in myself. He was a mirror – a mirror that showed me strengths and liabilities. His feedback was tough, but it was always delivered with the intent of helping me grow – and I did!
So, how do you get a mentor? I don’t know how you need to do it, but I know you can and I know that having someone believe in you, guide you, share their wisdom with you, and help you be your best is a wonderful gift. For me, it was simple, I just showed up like myself and the right person thought being me was a pretty good place to start!
